They're Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church
ladies with
typewriters -- misspellings, bad sentence construction
or choice of
words all make for fun reading. These sentences
actually appeared in
church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The
sermon tonight:
"Searching for Jesus."
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to
get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house Bring
your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been
canceled due to a
conflict.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way
again," giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we
have a nursery
downstairs.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which
the choir will
sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October
24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school
days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with
the deceased
person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
entertainment and
gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication
to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every
kind. They may
be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be hymn singing in the
park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10
AM. All ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.
S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake
breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7
PM. Please use
the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to
attend this
tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First
Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan
last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!
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